Our Big Step – Continued

I have been battling a yucky cough for a few days, and just feeling blah.  However, last weekend was supposed to be all about the kids, so the original plan was to grin and bear it.  Saturday was the annual CHI reunion, which we went to for the first time with the kids.  We met up with two of the traveling families we were with, and one of the kids who was friends with our kids.  We also met another family with a son who the kids remembered from the orphanage and transition home.  Plus a former co-worker of Adam’s, who had adopted with Russia.  Along with many other families.  There were crafts, games, and live entertainment for the kids, plus a huge playground outside for those wanting to brave the heat.  The kids had a blast!

The plan was afterwards to meet some of the other families at the St. Louis Zoo.  However in transit, Aman started complaining of a tummy ache, and I started running a fever.  So, we ended up going home.  Our movie of the night on Saturday was Mary Poppins.  Some of the songs played at the reunion were in the movie, so we thought the kids should see where they came from.  They seemed to enjoy that, or so I was told because I fell asleep in the beginning of the movie.

My sister picked up Serawit on Sunday for a few hours to play with her cousin, and Adam and Aman went to a remote control car race thingy in Kirkwood.  I got to stay home and cough.

Today, we were all feeling better and decided to go to the Science Center for a few hours, then we went to the Ethiopian restaurant for lunch.  The kids weren’t that hungry and didn’t eat as much as they usually do.  Strange.  We got home and both kids ran into the bedroom and went right to their naps without any prompting from us.  Even stranger.  2 1/2 hours later when I checked on them, Aman was burning up and Serawit felt like she had a low grade fever, but she was up and playing in her bed. By bedtime, Aman’s fever dropped some, and Serawit seemed just fine.  He doesn’t have the cough that I had, and seems like his tummy is still bothering him.  I talked to the experienced mom in the family, my baby sister, and she pretty much told me the same thing Adam and I were thinking, which is that I guess I’m calling the doctor in the morning.

Adam went back to work tonight and I already feel a little lost without him here.  I’m going to sleep a few hours and then give Aman another dose of Tylenol.  Poor kid.

This is part of what happened today, but it deserves it’s own blog. 

One of the first songs we taught the kids to sing is “Old McDonald.”  After a few days, we started changing it around.  We decided that Old McDonald had an Aman with a “Yes…No…Yes…No.”  At that time, whenever he would ask to see if he could do something, he would follow it with a “Yes…No…Yes…No…”   Also at that time, if Serawit wanted to blink her eyes or anything else she would yell “MOMMY”  in the most pathetic way you could imagine, so when Old McDonald had a Serawit, it would be with a “MOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYY.”  The kids quickly figured out we were teasing them.  They also figured out they could use that to tease each other.  It’s been an on-going inside joke with us ever since.

Today on the way back from the pool, Aman started singing Old McDonald, and this time Old McDonald had a Mommy.  Mommy goes “Stop!  Stop!  Stop!”

So, we get together with our friends Mark and Laura, and their daughter Elisabeth, our goddaughter, today to go swimming.  We go swimming out at Melody Lake, a community just inside Gasconade County – the pool is nice and always just about empty.  Adam had a dentist appointment in Washington, MO and he really wanted to ride his motorcycle, and Mark really wanted to ride his new motorcycle, so they each rode to Adam’s dentist appointment.  I was to drive Laura, Elisabeth and the kids.  No problem.  Got the kids ready, picked Laura and Elisabeth up, ate lunch (Lion’s Choice – Aman likes roast beef sandwiches – Serawit doesn’t), and off we went.  Just had to stop at Walgreens for sunscreen.  We pull in, and I, being the new mom, debate on letting the kids go in with us or just let Elisabeth, who is older, keep an eye on them while we zip in and out.  In my debating I happened to roll down the windows.  Then we decided to just let them come with us, so I rolled them back up.

I then heard a blood-curdling scream from Serawit.  She had decided to stick her little fingers on the window and didn’t pull them away on time, and I didn’t see this.  Also, I was having issues with the child safety locks or something and couldn’t get them back down.  After I was able to free her, I looked at her little fingers, and they were dented – that’s the best way to describe it, but there was no blood.  She was crying so hard.

The Walgreens we were at had a Take Care Clinic, so just to be safe, we went over there to sign up.  The nurse took one look and said we were better off going to the Urgent Care.  At that time, Mark calls Laura to say that his work called him and he needed his lap top.  So we drove to the Urgent Care, and I let Laura drive my car to pick up the lap top.

Oops one problem.  I have NO insurance information on her.  I had called Adam when this first happened (found out later he was still on the dentist’s chair).  The good thing about his working for Walgreens as long as he had, is that he knows everyone, so while we were at the Take Care Clinic in Fenton, he went over to the Washington Walgreens and had them put her insurance information on the system there.  Then when we went to the urgent care, I called him back and he had the folks at the Washington Walgreens fax the information to the urgent care.  The timing was perfect.  As I was telling them we didn’t have an insurance card on her yet, someone came by to say the fax with the information had arrived.

So, we are sitting in the little room waiting for the nurse to take her vitals, and Serawit is coloring in the book the staff had given them with the hand that had the fingers that were hurt.  Yep, I think she was just fine.  However, they took x-rays to be sure and she just bruised it.

Then we went swimming where we got to watch the kids do all kinds of things that made me wonder if there were going to be further urgent care visits that day. The good news is that Aman is swimming with no floaties in the deep end and is very close to diving and being able to do the crawl stroke.  Serawit (with her floaties becuase I won’t let her take them off) has no fear and swims everywhere her brother swims.  She also likes to jump into the kiddie pool knees first (see what I said about thinking there would be more than one urgent care visit today).  Elisabeth loved playing with the kids.  It did rain, but we saw no lightning.  Also the pool was virtually ours the entire time.  Adam and Mark eventually joined us.  We all dried off and had pizza at grandma and grandpa’s house, and then went home.

Adam and Mark got soaked in the rain coming back – poor guys.  Also a special thank you to Laura for helping me through my kid’s first semi-serious owie.

After all the excitement over the weekend, we decided to hang out and chill on Monday.   I played with the kids on the swing set all morning and a good chunk of the afternoon.  We met some friends for dinner at the River City Casino Buffet (the kids’ first buffet restaurant).  The friends did not have any presents for the kids, and they let us get the kids their food – yes!  Further, the kids kept the showing off to a minimum, ate just about everything we gave them, and didn’t play the “I want, no I don’t want, oh sure I want it, nope didn’t really want it” game.

We can’t get mad at anyone or complain about anything that happened over the weekend.  Wonderful friends and family opened their homes up to us and shared in our excitement at the new and improved look of our family.  The kids had a great time.  We had a great time.  The kids got some neat stuff.  However their demeanor in spending most of the day when it’s just us, compared to the excitement of lots of new people, new houses, new stuff and new swimming pools, was night and day. We kind of felt like horrible parents over the weekend having to say “no” more than “yes,” but on Monday we hardly had to get on them about anything.

I know people are going to tell me it’s just kids in general, and maybe that’s it.  Still, tomorrow, it will be 30 days since the kids have been in our arms, and on Wednesday it will be only 3 weeks since we’ve been home.  Even though it seems like they have bonded with us, and they seem like the happiest kids in the world, they are still dealing with separation, loss, and the idea that we are their parents and this is their home (and they will for some time), and we still need to work with them on that.  Right now it’s coming out in panic attacks when they wake up in the morning.  I think they start waking up thinking they are in one place (their original home, the orphanage, the transition home, the suite at HOH with us, could be any of those places) and see they are in another and get confused.  Bless their little hearts.  A good friend last night was telling me that she, as an adult, was getting them when she was in the process of buying a home, and then less than a month after that, traveled to South Africa on a Rotary International exchange group, sleeping at different homes.  If that can easily happen with an adult, I can only imagine what the kids are going through.

The kids love fireworks.  Aman can swim without floaties.  Had lots of fun at my aunt and uncle’s on Saturday and friends’  house tonight.

Parents of biological children marvel how their kids figure out how to do stuff as they get older.

We have been marveling at what our children already know.  It’s kind of the same principle.  We as parents still ooooh and aaaaah, and have to brag to everyone and show pictures if we have them.

There was the gardening.  At the Magic House yesterday (with my sister and her baby daughter), we figured out that they know their colors – Aman has just about all of them down in English. Food has been the most fun.  We are always surprised at what they decide they like and what they decide they don’t like.  Like typical preschoolers they may like one thing one day, but two days later, not want any of it. However, they are still most happy with Ethiopian food.  We’re not complaining.

They are also keen observers.  Thinking back, I did pull some weeds when I had them with me, so I think that’s how they figured it out.

On Monday, we went swimming for the first time.  My in-laws own a little plot of land in this organized community out way past Union, MO.  There is a pool there for the owners, which is very nice, and never crowded.  Adam ended up having to help my father in law with something, so I took the kids with my mother in law and my two nephews – one is 4 and the other 8.  The 8 year old has Downs and ADHD and is a real handful.  So basically I was on my own with the kids.  I consider myself a strong swimmer so I wasn’t too worried, but still a little nervous.  They like the slip and slide ok, but we really didn’t know how they would do in a body of water (I’m sorry – it’s a body of wu-ha).  We had been working on them knowing to stay with me when we go places and had been doing very well, i.e. I can take them to the grocery store without any problems.  However, when they saw the pool, they both ripped off their T-shirt/coverup and flip flops, and before I could drop the towels, etc. to run after them, they were in the kiddie pool.  By the time I got to the edge of the pool, Aman had swam underwater to the other side, and Serawit had gone under, come back up, and was spashing around laughing.  I think they can swim.  Come to find out later when I took them both into the big pool, they can’t tread water, but Aman is a little fish, and Serawit wants to be.  I was so happy to find that out, but I’m also a bit scared because they have no fear.  Whatsoever.  We went out again today and they were just great.  We can stick them in an innertube and I can do laps while pushing or pulling them with me – exercise!  Once they learn some more English, they will probably be in swimming lessons.

Tomorrow, it’s the zoo in the morning, and back to the pool in the afternoon.

After dinner tonight, I told them they could go outside to play for a little while before their bath time.  They ran out and I did too.  A little later I had to run inside to get something.  When I came back  I looked over at the swing set and they were not there.  For a half second I panicked then I looked over at the flower garden.  There they were, pulling weeds, and just weeds.  They were laughing and singing and having a good time about it.  I have not shown them what a weed was, they just knew, and they did a pretty good job.

The reason…  Dierbergs has a shopping cart that both kids can sit in.  Aman wanted to sit in the shopping cart, darn it!  They have the cute little carts for the kids, but he would have none of it.  So, Trader Joe’s only if one kid is with us and that kid is Serawit.  Aman is just too big for the little shopping cart.  The good part of it is that we found healthy animal crackers that they seem to really like – so another snack to add that they like.

It was a fun day.  We started off going to see a friend who works at the Whittle Shortline Railroad in Fenton.  It’s a wooden train and wooden puzzle store, but for the kids, when you walk in, there are these tables set up with wooden train sets, and the kids are allowed to go to town.  Don’t have to buy anything.  The kids LOVED it.

This evening, my sister, her boyfriend, and his daughter (same age as Serawit) came over for dinner.  I actually, like, really cooked for the first time in weeks, and grilled thick cut pork chops that I had brined ahead of time, and grilled corn on the cob, and roasted some regular and sweet potatoes.  Then we played on the slip and slide.  Afterward we enjoyed grilled pineapple.  The kids had fun rolling around in the water and sliding down the slide we had set up.

Just put them down and they went right to sleep.  Nighty Night!

Everything is continuing to go well.  The kids seem to like playing in the water, and as soon as the pool gets fixed at Melody Lake, we will be out there.

They are continuing to test boundaries, which kind of wears on us after a while, but we know that the work we do now will make it easier later.  Today for the first time, they resisted bedtime, even though this is the latest we let them stay up (we watched Toy Story, which ended at 10:30).

They are continuing to have possession issues, especially with each other’s stuff.  I had talked to our social worker at CHI about it earlier, and how we were considering putting them in separate bedrooms sooner rather than later.  She urged us to keep things the way they are now, and explained that while they may be acting like typical kids and typical siblings, there is the added layer of their orphanage existence, and not ever having had possessions of their own before.  They don’t understand the concept of something being Aman’s only, or Serawit’s only, versus both of theirs.  They don’t understand that it is not going to be taken away, and they will get even more.  It gets more confusing when they go to someone else’s house, pick up something they like, and said person tells them they can keep it.   I know, I know, your preschooler doesn’t/didn’t understand that either.  The fact is, your angels probably understand/understood more than you think.   With our kids, we kind of have to teach them from the infant level up.   Thankfully, they are not hoarding, which is definitely a sign of problems, but because they act like regular kids, everyone wants to treat them like regular kids – we find ourselves doing the same thing.  The stuff they fight over the most are what they have gotten from other people – especially the stuff one will pick up at another’s house and then are told they can take it.  My wonderful well-meaning friends and family simply have to stop doing that for right now.  Eventually, you will have ample opportunity to spoil them rotten and send them back.  Please let us work with them for a little while first.

Another thing we were hoping to wait on was taking yucky medications.  Serawit unfortunately has a rather nasty case of ringworm, meaning 6 weeks of daily oral medication that tastes absolutely gross.  Yesterday was the first day and we had to give it to her three times before she would actually swallow it and not spit it up.  Tonight was better.  We had lots of tears and crying, but she took it.  Poor baby.

We are getting more of a routine down pat, and we are having fun trying different foods and drinks, figuring out what they like and don’t like.  We’ve been to a few restaurants, and every server has been happy to help us in our exploration.  Aman is the most adventurous eater, however, usually after seeing Aman eating something and liking it, Serawit will decide she likes it too.

Still having fun!

The plan was to go swimming today.  However, we got a call from FACES (international adoption pediatric specialist at Cardinal Glennon) confirming our appointment for 12:30 today.  Ummmm  we got something from them in the mail that their appointments were not until July. That was a mistake.  So, as best as we could, at breakfast, we told the kids that we were not going swimming that we were instead going to the doctor.  Even found the Amharic word for doctor.  Well, after we said that, Serawit grabbed the inside of her elbow and screamed “NO!!”  and Aman had a horrified look on his face. No, kids, no needles, just going to get checked out.  I promise.

While I recommend FACES for everyone, as Dr. Ledage was very nice and very thorough, don’t expect speed.  We got there at 12:20, and didn’t leave until well after 4:00.   Also, the nice doctor ordered blood work.  Uh oh.

They so do not like us right now.